Everyone engages in judgment at times. Many people gossip or speak behind others’ backs. Still, the most common tendency is to judge oneself for mistakes, flaws, and shortcomings. It often begins with comparing yourself to others and reshaping your beliefs to fit social norms, which makes you forget about love and equality. Criticizing others, however, is no better. When you evaluate people based on their status, appearance, or beliefs, you attempt to escape your own self-condemnation. This temporary relief comes from making others appear worse in your own eyes, rather than facing your inner struggle.

Gabrielle Bernstein suggests that judgment is rooted in early childhood trauma. At birth, you naturally appreciate yourself and feel a sense of connection with others. Yet certain experiences may trigger feelings of being unworthy or unloved. For instance, you might encounter discrimination at school because of your skin color or your family’s financial condition…